FB #6: I wonder how many slogans could be made from this post.

"Vote principles not slogans! American pride means American Supremacy;
means American Hegemony; means American World Preeminence.
I FAVOR it ! All of it, and I need no carefully crafted slogans to declare it.
Stop in at the VA Hospital and experience patriotism not journalism!"

Didn't you know that flag lapel pins are the key to world domination?

Sharron Angle: She's actually kind of scary

If you don't recognize this saucy vixen, consider yourself among the fortunate.

This is my first semi-substantial entry. I know it may not be right to make these kind of judgments, but some part of me is acutely aware of just how obtuse Sharron Angle is to the world around her. It might seem kind of strange to be so into another state's primary, but hey, you don't come across someone exceptionally insane every day. After capturing the GOP's nomination for the US Senate in Nevada on June 8th, Angle has done little more than cover her own tracks. Some of her past, however, continues to leave an imprint.

On her campaign website, visitors are immediately directed a picture of a stunning mountain vista (because that's how we all think of Nevada) and a donation progress bar so you can be horrified at just how much money people will actually throw at her. Now, this is all fairly pedestrian stuff for a campaign site, though admittedly it would do Angle well to wear a color other than blue for once. Her issues page, on the other hand, is a veritable fountain of lunacy.

Spouting typical free market rhetoric, Angle claims,

"Defunding ObamaCare is essential to the economic survival of the United States. The federal healthcare takeover offers no solutions to the cost issues or quality of care issues, related to healthcare. One needs look no further than Massachusetts, to know that nationalized healthcare will not work."

Notwithstanding how unprofessional it is to refer to the most recent health care bill as "ObamaCare," Angle makes the unsubstantiated claim that Massachusetts is an example of how nationalized healthcare will not work. You know, the same Massachusetts with a significantly lower portion of uninsured people, significantly lower infant mortality rate, significantly lower AIDS infection rate, and significantly lower teen death rate than the national average^[1]: a shining example of the evils of socialized medicine. She instead epouses the usual rhetoric about the benefits of the free market, which have obviously been working when you consider that the current free market models have sentenced the 15% of uninsured Americans and even many of those with coverage who fall ill to death, bankruptcy, or both.

Beyond sentencing poor people to death, Angle has other hobbies, proudly proclaiming that she "is qualified for a concealed weapons permit." Frankly, I could not think of any more important quality in a candidate. Those brawls on the Senate floor can get pretty brutal, but Sharron can just whip out a craftily-hidden revolver and fire a warning shot to break up the scuffle, taking more vigorous action as necessary. And you do not want to see this woman with anything more dangerous than a butter knife. Seriously.

The fun hardly stops there. Angle has a history of dubious claims, including comparing the legalization of alcohol to that of marijuana(though she later reneged on this outburst), advocating a Scientology-inspired massage program to rehabilitate drug addicts in prison², and of course, railing against the fluoridation of drinking water, a piece of anti-Communist paranoia hailing from the Cold War days³. And this is just the tip of the iceberg. The very same iceberg that struck Sharron Angle's quickly sinking Titanic. I'm sure that Sharron Angle, despite her cunning and wisdom, will be a source of many more hilarious anecdotes in the future. If anyone's going hunting with her in the near future, you'd better hope she's a better shot than Dick Cheney.

[1]State Health Facts
[2]Washington Post Voices
[3]Salon.com War Room

FB #5: Get them started early

FB "I was born 8 days ago on June 15, 2010 and in November 2038 I will be elected the 50th president!"

First of all, I applaud the infant that has the fine motor skills to conjure up a post like this. Unfortunately you'll be about seven years short of the mark in 2038...a year in which, incidentally, there will be no presidential election. But that's okay. I'd focus on potty training first.

FB #4: I'm a poet and I knew it

"lets nuke thier ass and take thier gas"

Isn't this Kim Jong Il's foreign policy platform?

FB #3: Maybe a carnival instead

"why is Louisiana getting national guard troops and we can't get any on our border here in AZ? Not fair!!!"

Hey, next time millions of gallons of oil wash up on the shores of Arizona, I bet that we'll be able to spare a few helping hands.

FB #2: Three's Company

"the 6's are 3 and they are in his scalp 666"

This one is, of course, referring to Barack Obama. I always thought he had a killer tat.

FB #1: I was a Goneril supporter, myself

"Well busch didnt help much either,but better than obama.how about a return to regan !!!"

I've always wanted a zombie President. Anyone got a Necronomicon?